Decluttering – That was then, This is now…

I’ve had some time to myself this morning.  I’ve done some reading, watched a few YouTube videos, and looked at my “multipurpose” room with a critical eye.  It’s been restful, educational, and illuminating.

 

One of the things I noticed when I was looking around my room was the poster I shared today.  My mom gave me this poster at least 50 years ago; if you look at the picture closely you can tell that it’s yellowed and that I’ve taped the edges with clear shipping tape to keep it from tearing.  She knew, even when I was a child, that I had a clutter problem. 

 

When I was young, mom would let it go just so far and then she would take control and do something about the clutter.  I can clearly remember, even taste, the anger (rage) of coming home to find that she had gone into my bedroom and thrown away my things.  

As I got older she nagged, shamed, blamed, denied privileges, grounded me, and finally forced me to keep my bedroom door closed (which, in and of itself, was a form of punishment because we heated our Chicago home with gas space heaters and it got really cold in the winter when the bedroom door was closed).  She joked about my clutter problem, she told our friends and family; she even told my boyfriend (now dear husband) that I was a great cook but that I couldn’t keep the house clean to save my life.  She just wanted to warn him in case we got serious.

 

None of that made me want to clear the clutter.  It probably made the problem worse.  I got better at hiding the clutter; I got better at stuffing the emotions.  The “things” became more important than the “people”; I isolated; I invited fewer and fewer people into my life and into my home.

 

Recently something clicked (in my mind) and I decided that I wanted a real life.  I decided that I didn’t want to live this way anymore.  I knew I needed to learn how to declutter and find the motivation to do it.  So I headed for YouTube and the Kindle Store.  

Some people can say I don’t like this anymore and simply throw it out.  It’s not that easy for me.  I spent a lifetime building attachments to “things” because I didn’t have good solid attachments, or trusting relationships, with the “people” in my life.  I am just learning to let go of some of these things and believe me, it’s a little scary!

 

Dear Lord, please help me let go of these “things”.  I can’t do this without your help.

 

Talk to you soon!

 

Mary Smiles ;-)