2014-0110 - stuff2 - face the grief

Proverbs 1:19 (KJV) - So are the ways of every one that is greedy of gain; which taketh away the life of the owners thereof.

As you have guessed, I have invested a lot of time, money, and effort in accumulating stuff.  There are some guilty secrets associated with having so much stuff, I spent more than I had, I neglected my obligations, bills weren’t paid, and people got hurt.

Selfishness, greed, envy, and covetousness have created tremendous stress in our home, indebted us to unscrupulous creditors, damaged our testimony, and dishonored God.  I wasted precious resources, meant to serve God and others, on stuff I didn’t need and don’t even use anymore.  That time, money, and effort should have been used to His honor and glory!

It sounds strange, but I have had an emotional bond to my stuff.  I got the stuff to fill gaps in my life, and my heart, because the pain of emptiness was too great to bear.  It didn’t work!  I was still miserable, and the more stuff the greater the conflict and chaos that was my life.

I felt like nothing, I felt worthless; I used stuff to inflate my own value.  The stuff never really did the trick.  No matter how much I accumulated, I always ended up back in that same pit of despair.

I thought the stuff was mine; that I owned it!  And, I reasoned that by owning the stuff that I gained value too!  But, alas not true!  Somewhere along the line, the stuff began to own me!  It is a snare, it thwarts my every move, it complicates my life, and it drags me down into the depths of depression and torments me there.  I am coming to the realization that stuff is not the answer to my problems.  I cannot buy happiness and more is not better.

I have some history with addictions and besetting sins, so I joined a recovery program.  As a result, I have been spending more time in my Bible and journaling.  I read God’s Word in the morning and listen for His voice in my heart.  During the day I meditate on the way He wants me to live, and find that my addictions don’t seem as powerful.  I don’t need to stuff stuffs instead of dealing with my emotional needs because God is healing those hurts.

Being in God’s Word showed me that eternal life includes this life.  I always thought of eternal life as what happened after this life.  Now, that I know differently, I want to trust and obey God as the Lord of my whole life; not just my after life.  Letting Jesus Christ lead, guide, and direct my life NOW is the only way I can expect to find peace and happiness.

I have repeatedly tried to run my own life only to end up in conflict with God and man, and I have made myself thoroughly miserable!  Enough!  It is time to let God take control!

The Israelites tried God’s patience with idolatry, grumblings, and constant disobedience.  He finally allowed them to suffer the consequences of sin.  He allowed captivity in Babylon to humble His beloved Hebrew Children; but he did not give up on them entirely!  He hasn’t given up on me either!

Jeremiah 29:11-12 (KJV) - For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.  Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.

God has always wanted to give me a good life; but I was too stubborn and rebellious to obey and submit.  God loves me, but He did not make me a robot; He allows me the freedom to suffer the consequences of my sin.  Please pray that I can turn this stuff over to God and obey.

I said all that to say this...  I do not want to stuff to control my life.  I want God to control my life.  I am ready to let go of stuff and hold fast to God.

Nevertheless, I still have a very difficult time letting go of things so I am going to need lots of boxes and trash bags, some prayers, a plan, and a partner.  With God’s help, and a little encouragement from a friend, I have enlisted an organizer!  God, Amy, and I will get through this stuff together!

My prayer for today…  Dear Lord, Thank you for demonstrating your love by sending Your Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for my sins.  I know you will fill the empty gaps in my heart if I obey and seek your will in my life.  Thank you for opening my eyes to the messes I made and for encouraging me to reach out to others and ask for help.